Help im surrounded !!

[Stu Merckx Man]

I am currently the last bastion of good health in my household. My whole immediate family (mum, dad, sister), have all come down with the same illness, and so have frequent visitors to our house including the likes of my granny and my sisters boyfriend.

Symptoms include a fever for a few days, a stuffy nose, headache, a general feeling of tiredness, a short temper and lots of nagging to 'help more round the house!'

Ive put in place some stringent defensive measures, much to the annoyance of my family- i wont touch any of them, breath near any of them, eat any food prepared by them, generally just stay clear of them, open all the windows, and I've been eating 2 or 3 days worth of fruit a day.

i can't help but think its only a matter of time before my defenses are breached !

last man standing,
stu

[huw williams]

Given your recent record - if you're the healthiest then everyone else is probably dead - have you checked for pulse and breathing?

[Ian A4size]

sounds like survivors!

[Andrew G]

Pot Noodle for your Christmas dinner then Stu .

[Stu Merckx Man]

given my track record ive probably already had the illness !

[Robh]

Hope your not forgetting to wipe down door handles each time you need to open a door? Think of the germs that could be on them?

Be easier just to move out during this difficult time.

[kieran]

[quote="Stu Merckx Man"]given my track record ive probably already had the illness !

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

Thanks for the warning Stu.

Have you nailed the front dorr shut and put a big red cross on it

Guru P

[Stu Merckx Man]

well i had managed to avoid the illness plaguing the household, but i new there was one more high risk obstacle to get through before i was relatively safe... christmas DuN DuN DAAAAAA. the following story takes place on the 25th of december 2008.

upon the family get together i immediately investigated which cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents were ill, so i could avoid getting too close to them. most of them understood where i was coming from, and were very cooperative with me.

however, one of my mothers cousins took exception to this when i refused to kiss and hug her daughter as a thank you for a christmas present ( did say thank you) , who has been ill for a week, just the kind of thing i want to avoid. i tried to explain that the best christmas present they could give me was not forcing me to risk another illness.

my mums cousin then told her daughter to 'just jump on him, hes being silly'. i had my whits about me and i rolled out the way in the nick of time, which left the young bio hazard to land on the pillow i was sitting on. great i thought, ive got away with it....but then came the water works. it got fairly heated-

"oh look you've just hurt her what do you think your doing?" she shouted
"you shouldn't have told her to jump, she landed on the pillow, she just wants attention" i calmly replied
"stop acting like a child, i know a lot more than you, you wont catch anything off her for god sake!" she shouted back
i then went on to explain for about 5 minutes about my tonsillitis, my knee, and my cycling, ending with "which is why im not going near her, just accept it, everyone else has"

i thought that was the end of it, but i did not reckon on the pettiness of the scheming witch.

i had just nodded off to sleep on the sofa whilst watching the doctor who christmas special, when i heard her shout "now!" and i felt myself engaged in a horrifically slobbery kiss on my lips from the bio hazard. my heart sank as i envisioned the week or more of cycling i was now going to miss out on. i was furious, and the witch told me i was over reacting. thankfully the rest of my family was on my side, especially my dad who has had to put up with me moaning for the last 3 months at work with him, about how unfit i must be by now and how frustrated i feel.... she was asked to leave

low and behold, that night i woke up at about 4 in the morning with a raging headache, a temperature and a sore throat, and today i have a cough on top of the rest.



merry christmas everyone!

[Robh]

Did say you should have moved out.

Get well soon Stu.

FACT OR FICTION: THE COLD TRUTH

You get fewer colds as you get older

Fact. School children suffer up to ten colds a year, adults up to five, and older adults even fewer. As we get older, our immune system acquires more and more antibodies to deal with different types of cold.

You get most colds in enclosed public places, such as buses and trains

Fiction. Cold transmission usually occurs in the home. Young children are the main reservoir of cold infection, and adults in regular contact with children are most exposed to the virus.

You catch colds by kissing

Fiction. It's very unlikely that a cold virus would be transmitted mouth to mouth - they start their colonisation in the nose.

You can catch a cold by getting chilled

Fact. Until recently it was believed to be a myth, and all those Jane Austen heroines being confined to bed after getting their feet wet was thought to be old hat. But recent research at the Common Cold Centre in Cardiff has indicated that if you have your feet chilled when exposed to cold viruses, you are more likely to develop cold symptoms.

We get colds in winter because that's when we're crowded together inside

Fiction. This used to be a common belief, on the assumption that cold viruses are more easily transmitted when we're breathing on each other. But the theory is largely discredited, since in modern cities summer and winter lifestyles are similarly overcrowded but there is a clear winter peak in colds.

[Stu Merckx Man]

cheers rob.

[quote]Fiction. Cold transmission usually occurs in the home. Young children are the main reservoir of cold infection, and adults in regular contact with children are most exposed to the virus.

You catch colds by kissing

[Antloony]

[img]http://i43.tinypic.com/142hthc.jpg[/img]

Here's the answer to all your problems Stu