The duck is dead

[Jon H]

Lots of people have been Peking at this thread.

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

LOL - really, sitting at my desk.

The duck is dead, long live the duck.

[Sylv]

Harpo says that last one was not soup-er

[adrian]

Donald puns sound a bit shot after a bit?

[adrian]

I don't know why you drake it all up again, just when it was coming to an eend

[Sylv]

This reminds me of a rubber good tale I heard recently:

http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/vie ... -19390886/

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

and I thought "rubber duck" was a CB handle made infamous by the Truckers song Convoy.

Looks like this will run and waddle

[Sylv]

Ok - while we are on cheap puns - here are some to keep you entertained for a while courtesy of Karl Pilkington - find the name of the artist/band with his cryptic clues.


[quote]12 October 2002

This young man prepared for his death. (WY) = Will Young

Better than the average homeless person. (S) = Supertramp

The little girl is hungry; what shall we do? (F) = Feeder

Exploding pet. (AK) = Atomic Kitten

[edit] 19 October 2002

I'll take that book to the toilet with me. (LR) = Lou Reed

Blow the candles out before you eat the cake. (FL) = Flaming Lips

How can I wash up in something shaped like that? (NS) = N-Sync (N sink)

[edit] 26 October 2002

At the moment I'm in a river full of logs. (JT) = Justin Timberlake

That lad's got bad asthma. (W) = Weezer

I saw Mousetrap the other night, but the heating was knackered. (C) = Coldplay

[edit] 02 November 2002

I don't like them birds; they shouldn't be allowed in this area. (B) = The Bangles (ban gulls)

Many listeners guessed Boyzone and Ricky and Steve agreed that this was a more suitable answer.


He doesn't like women, yet he's got a couple of kids. That's a bit weird. (PD) = Puff Daddy

That bloke who does sport on telly, he's got a little kid. (DC) = Destiny's Child (Des' tiny child)

[edit] 09 November 2002

That army has got some well nice trenches. (DW) = Dandy Warhols (dandy war holes)

The top of them curtains are wrecked; all the material's worn. (HV) = Holly Valance

I was in Texas, I landed on my knees in a puddle. (WH) = Whitney Houston (wet knee Houston)

[edit] 16 November 2002

The fella has only got one badge left. (E) = Elastica (his last sticker)

The unmarried lady is a friend I eat out with. (MD) = Ms Dynamite (miss dinner mate)

I really really love that woman. I love everything she does. (M) = Madonna (mad on her)

[edit] 23 November 2002

Karl's Mam submitted these:

This group would be good at doing your hair. (TP) = The Platters
This group sound like dinosaurs. (TR) = T. Rex
This group like to be by the sand and the sea. (TBB) = The Beach Boys
This guy sounds soup-perb. (GC) = Glen Campbell
Here's the official ones:

Stop throwing that fruit about. (CB) = Chuck Berry

That Scottish fella has made an error. (M) = Mistique

God, you can make a right load of toast with them. (G) = Gorillaz

[edit] 30 November 2002

More from Karl's mam:

This group are nice on toast. = The Jam
This man liked his wine. = Dean Martin
Hope you're not speeding when you meet these. = The Police
Sounds like these lads work for the hospital. = Gerry and the Pacemakers

The real ones:

You've been dunking that for too long. (LB) = Limp Bizkit

You won't be able to play that game in this pub. The table ain't big enough (FD) = Fats Domino

Well, I've had a rubbish day so I'm happy it's over. (GK) = Gladys Knight (glad it's night)

[edit] 07 December 2002

That'll never get off the ground. (LZ) = Led Zeppelin

That womans got her husbands gloves and a pair of her own. (HH) = Hermans Hermits (her man's, her mits)

You'll get a load of bacon off them. (L) = Longpigs

[edit] 21 December 2002

These clues are Christmas-themed, but all mentions of the holiday have no bearing on the answer.


There's a load of letters there asking for advice. Put them on Claire's desk. (Oh and, er, have a good Christmas.) (F) = Foreigner (for Raynor)

Ask your mum if you should (after you've wrapped the presents). (S) = Shalamar (shall I, ma?)

A couple of people were arguing in the supermarket at the fruit and veg counter (but it's busy in there 'cause it's Christmas and that's probably what brought it on.) (B) = Bananarama (banana drama)

[edit] 04 January 2003

42 pounds for a torch? That's a bit pricey. (D) = Deee-Lite (dear light)

He'll fit some chocolate to your feet. (A) = Aerosmith

Do you think your kid will get that strawberry for me? (WP) = Wilson Picket (will son pick it?)

[edit] 11 January 2003

Don't argue with him. He ain't gonna change his mind. (AA) = Adam Ant

He always gets what he wants and doesn't worry about anyone else. (P) = Pixies (picks his)

I'll have to put that woman in the oven. (AB) = Anita Baker (I need to bake her)

[edit] 18 January 2003

I've got three other jumpers like this one. (FT) = Four Tops

Those people can't make up their minds whether to sit in the sun or not. (C) = Charlatans (shall-I-tans?)

That Jamaican fella needs an aspirin. Why is that? (FD) = Freda Payne (free da pain)

Karl gave out the wrong initials for the last clue. Many listeners guessed Fred Durst (forehead hurts).


[edit] 25 January 2003

Weather stinks, dunnit? (R) = Rainbow (rain b.o.)

Look, gran, just get on the boat and help us out. (R) = Ronan (row, nan)

If you're going to do that with your drink, I'd wait for it to settle a bit. (CK) = Chaka Khan (shake a can)

[edit] 01 February 2003

The Australian picks two blokes. (E) = Eminem ('im and 'im)

That builder is a bit cute. (BT) = Bonnie Tyler

[edit] 08 February 2003

Well, if he would've been wearing a helmet he'd have been alright. (B) = Busted

Why are them Jamican men swinging fish around their head? (DS) = Detroit Spinners (de trout spinners)

[edit] 15 February 2003

The northern lad remembers he has to ask his mom's daughter something. (O) = Oasis (oh, hey sis)

The person from Birmingham got a C in their degree. (T) = Toto

The cockney fella isn't happy. Everything's going wrong. (DH) = Dan Hill

[edit] 26 April 2003

The gingerbread man has only got one leg. (LB) = Limp Bizkit

These people from the East Midlands swear a lot. (TTD) = Terrence Trent D'arby (Tourette's Trent Derby)

Have a holiday in Italy. (TB) = Turin Brakes

[edit] 03 May 2003

The hitchhiker needs a lift but in something bigger than a car. (VH) = Van Halen

Don't be selfish, hand some of it out to your mates. (C) = Cher

The Scottish fellas can't get into their emails. (KL) = Kenny Loggins

[edit] 10 May 2003

Me younger brother spotted you the other day. (JS) = Junior Senior (junior seen yer)

That champagne belongs to the boxer's kid. (AM) = Alison Moyet (Ali's son's moyet)

The vibrators. (B) = Buzzcocks

[edit] 17 May 2003

Oh, they're havin' problems. They haven't got any rice left. (CC) = China Crisis

The Geordie fella doesn't know what he's being charged for. (BW) = Bill Wyman (bill? why, man?)

I have two bricks and I have to throw 'em at two women and I didn't hit either of 'em. (MM) = Mister Mister

[edit] 31 May 2003

The customer wanted some paint to darken up her room. The shop assistant knew what to do. (CB) = Cilla Black (sell her black)

It'd be alright if their heads weren't so big. (SF) = Small Faces

Chanel have got another perfume out. (NO) = New Order (new odor)

[edit] 07 June 2003

That fella likes sucking on iron. (M) = Metallica (metal licker)

The Jamaican fella spots a boat. (D) = DeBarge

Do you want a game of tug of war? Well, it's up to you, you own it. (E) = Europe (your rope)

[edit] 14 June 2003

He's got American coins all down his spine. (N) = Nickelback

Jeremy Beadle has got arthritis. What's going on there? (SLF) = Stiff Little Fingers

Foxy, Shipman and some country and western singer on a merry go round (SD) = Spin Doctors

[edit] 21 June 2003

If you're going to France, you might as well buy your fags on the boat because you'll get 'em a lot cheaper. (BF) = Bryan Ferry (buy on ferry)

There's a little foreign cafe that's growing its own steak. (D) = Del Amitri (deli meat tree)

If there was a Jamaican fella on the Titanic, he might have screamed this. (CD) = Chris DeBurgh (Christ, de berg!)

[edit] 28 June 2003

The doctor said part of the foot and the leg was no good, so he took 'em off and threw 'em away. (TB) = Tony Bennett (toe, knee, bin it!)

The Scottish monster has got a bit of a tan. (TD) = The Darkness

Well, the 60's singer had a heart attack whilst he was 'avin it away. We won't be seeing him again. (FNM) = Faith No More (Adam Faith no more)

[edit] 05 July 2003

All the police cars are on fire. (BS) = Blazing Squad

The director of "28 Days Later" is shouting about sleeping outside. (DB) = Daniel Beddingfield (Dan yell, "Bed in field!")

He wants to be a sailor. Why is that? (B) = Beyonce (be on sea)

[edit] 08 November 2003

That Teletubby has got lice. (TP) = The Police

(Karl messed up this clue. It was supposed to be "That Teletubby has got nits.")


I'm saving that money to buy condoms. (JC) = Johnny Cash

When you're making bread, add a bit of color for a change. (D) = Dido (dye dough)

[edit] 15 November 2003

If you go to Chepstow you will. (S) = Seahorses (see horses)

ET's upset. What's up with him? (ME) = Missy Elliot (missing Elliot)

I had a tape with Humpty Dumpty and Hickory Dickory Dock on it, but I broke it. (BR) = Busta Rhymes (busted rhymes)

[edit] 22 November 2003
I'm going to the northeast. Why am I doing that? (S) = Seal (see Hull)

She's related to the man in the lamp. (G) = Genesis (genie's sis)

The Jamaican fella would love to live there, but it's a bit pricey. (DS) = Dire Straits (dear streets)

[edit] 13 December 2003

I can't do any photos cos it's been nicked by a German. (AC) = Aztec Camera (I's take camera)

If you keep eating, this part of your body will get bigger. (PC) = Phil Collins (fill colon)

The place where you go to take your dog a walk and that, or you might go there on a Sunday. People, sort of, might taste that area. (AP) = Alex Parks (I lick parks)

[edit] 03 January 2004

Will you leave the entrance to me garden alone? (GG) = Gareth Gates (get off gates)

Don't phone but you can send a message on me mobile. (T) = Texas (text us)

We were sharing out the male sheep and I think I got the best one. (DG) = Delta Goodram (dealt a good ram)

[edit] 10 January 2004

Don't be stealing my tools. Take your sister's. (NK) = Nick Kershaw (nick her saw)

Buy it if you want, I'm not that bothered. Think about it. Come back. Check some other places. I'm not fussed. It's up to you. I'm not pushing you into anything. (SC) = Soft Cell

That's good, I can play ten pin bowling again. (O) = Outkast

[edit] 17 January 2004

The Jamaican fella wrote a review for "Phoenix Nights." (DC) = Divine Comedy (da fine comedy)

We should all vote for Paul Daniels, David Blaine, Copperfield, The Great Soprendo, Tommy Cooper and Darrin Brown. Why's that? (ES) = Electric Six (elect trick six)

Steve, what did your dad do? Ricky, what did your dad do? Can work on anyone. (E) = Erasure (he raised yer)

[edit] 28 May 2005

So if you got, like, a bulb and you look after it, and you teach it stuff and all that. What are you doing there? (R) = Razorlight (raise your light)

People have a problem doing this when they get home from a night out drinking. (K) = Keane (key in)

I had a vision of that Chinese flu. (C) = Caesars (see SARS)

[edit] 04 June 2005

The fella let his wife know how he got the bruise on his leg. (CL) = Courtney Love (caught knee, love)

That Potter lad has a lot of bottle messin' about with the wizards. (TB) = The Bravery (brave Harry)

The Buddhists won't be able to get into their temple without these. (TM) = The Monkees (monk keys)

[edit] 11 June 2005

There's a vehicle that sells kebabs. (D) = Donovan (donner van)

You're asked if you want that bit of the egg. You think about it and decide against it. (YO) = Yoko Ono (yolk? oh... oh no)

I don't think this burger will catch on. (M) = McFly (as in a "Big Mac" burger with flies)

[edit] 18 June 2005

Why don't you borrow some land off Mr. Boardman, Mr. Laurel or Mr. Fletcher? (LS) = Lisa Stansfield (lease a Stan's field)

I'm going to annoy those sea birds over there. (B) = Buggles (bug gulls)

What the scouse fella said to the robber he found in his vineyard. (AW) = Amy Winehouse (hey, me wine house!)

[edit] 25 June 2005

When I'm ill I throw up horse food. What's going on there? (IH) = Isaac Hayes (I sick hays)

That garden tool isn't yours. Give it back. (ND) = Nick Drake (nicked rake)

That male sheep sounds fed up. Why's that? (TR) = The Ramones (the ram moans)

[edit] 02 July 2005

Richard's kid cuts hair for a living. (BD) = Barbara Dickson (barber Dick's son)

I have a problem saying the French word for "well." (K) = Kasabian (can't say bien)

Take 52 kebabs, times that by 27 kebabs. The fella is struggling to work it out. (DS) = Donna Summer (donner sum, er)

[edit] 24 December 2005 (BBC Radio 2)

D'ya know the little information card you get in a mobile phone? Put that on a spider's house. (SW) = Simon Webb (SIM on web)

Diana Ross isn't feeling that good at the moment. (ID) = Il Divo (ill diva)

That stuff that I put on my toast, it doesn't taste sharp enough. (JB) = James Blunt (jam's blunt)

[edit] 31 December 2005 (BBC Radio 2)

I've got snails, croissants and baguettes in me palm. What's going on there? (FF) = Franz Ferdinand (French food in hand)

Me granny's taking a penalty. She better get the ball in the back of the net. (NM) = Nana Mouskouri (nanna must score 'ere)

I'm where people go to relieve themselves after looking at elephants and that. What am I? (A) = Amazulu (I'm a zoo loo)

[edit] Podcast Series 2, Episode 1

I don't want a house that far away from the water. I want to be right on top of it. (B) = Beyonce (be on sea)

That part of me leg is English. (B) = Britney

The fitness teacher has got a speech impediment. (KW) = Kanye West (can you rest?)

[edit] Podcast Series 2, Episode 2

Steal that women's flower. (RP) = Robert Plant (rob her plant)

Keep whacking the cooker with a stick. (It doesn't have to be a stick.) = (B) = Beethoven (beat oven)

Venice. It's all water, innit? How would you describe it? (M) = Morrissey (more is sea)

[edit] Podcast Series 2, Episode 3

That Jamaican fella doesn't want anything. (ND) = Neil Diamond (nil demand)

I ask them to pass me the ball by using their head. (E) = Editors (head it to us)

He's got the wooly ones, but I've got the ones that run and charge at you. (R) = The Ramones (the ram ones)

[edit] Podcast Series 2, Episode 4

I went to the restaurant on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and the fella who makes the food was there each time. (SC) = Sam Cooke (same cook)

Go into that woman's store and rip her off. (C) = Cornershop (con her shop)

You've had a go at laying down a track, but it ain't perfect. (E) = Eurythmics (your rough mix)

[edit] Podcast Series 2, Episode 5

Those songs you sing at Christmas, that bloke who sings 'em is brilliant at it. (CK) = Carole King

I told the homosexual man that the grape tree was mine. (MG) = Marvin Gaye (my vine, gay)

I ask you, Ricky, if you believe in Father Christmas. What do you say? (S) = Santana (Santa? nah)

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