So I think it's pretty simple. If you're wife is very generous you want a Edge 1000. If you want a map background on your courses you want an 810 or 1000, but if you don't then a Edge 520 would be a good choice (I think some pro teams use this because it's 20g lighter).
Saying that if you do decide on an 810 (I have one of those as do lots of others) it seems like it can't be too long until a 820 is announced, maybe in time for Christmas, so potentially wait for than to either get an 820 or an 810 for even less money.
If budget is an issue a second hand 510 would be a good choice with similar specs to 520 but missing some of the more advanced training features and connectivity features, which might not be important to you if you're like you say a technophobe.
There's even some other manufacturers producing some competing devices now so maybe don't restrict yourself to Garmin, perhaps after that it isn't quite so simple