Apols if you've seen this before:
Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers around.
They'll say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don't let this happen to you. Study this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they really mean when they say:
[color=darkblue]"I'm out of shape/I haven't done much riding" [/color] MrPVT
Translation: I ride 600 kilometres a week and haven't missed a day
since Muldoon was PM. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.
[color=darkblue]"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape" [/color] MrPVT
Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering like a baby. I will win the line sprint and I will crest this hill first even if I have to grab your seat post.
[color=darkblue]"It's only my training bike" [/color] Sean Hogan
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium
blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It
weighs less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.
[color=darkblue]"It's not that hilly" [/color] Huw Williams
Translation: This climb lasts longer than coalition negotiations. Be careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You ONLY have a 39x23 low gear Here's the name of my knee surgeon.
[color=darkblue]"This is a no-drop ride" [/color] MrPVT
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs.
[color=darkblue]"It's not that far" [/color] MrPVT
Translation: Bring your passport.
[color=darkblue]"A steady pace" [/color] MrPVT
Yes it's steady, a steady 23mph !!!!