Andrew Green's Fifa World Cup Football Thread

[huw williams]

Brazil, Spain, Germany, Italy, Argentina and England all make shock exits in the group stages. South Korea and North Korea face each other in the final – this is potentially the worst football match in the history of the world cup, but the tear-up on the stands proves something worth seeing as S.Korea have promised not to provide N.Korea with any TV feeds of the tournament.

Kim Jong-il will doubtless have executed current coach Kim Jong-hun by the start of the knockout phase and assumed his position in the N.Korean dugout, substituting anyone in the first team who’s name isn’t Kim Jong something or other.

The game itself finishes a desperately unenthraling 1- 0 to the North, Pak Kwang-Ryon rising like a Salmon at the far post etc etc… As he does not have the names Kim and Jong in front of Ryon, a crime punishable by death under the current political regime, he is later executed and stripped of his winners medal. Kim Jong-Messi, Kim Jong-Wright-Phillips and Kim Jong Torres carry the trophy aloft on a lap of honour to world media speculation that these aren’t really North Korean nationals at all, but ringers drafted in from poor footballing nations eliminated in the group stages.

[George]

dont give up the day job Huw

[Marcus]

I cannot believe that anyone here thinks that any other team besides England can win.
So get down the bookies tomorrow and put your house on them.
I would but I lost mine in Euro '96.

[Mike I]

[quote]Have you ever seen a finer set of players than the ones that Fabio Capello has named today? No.

Practically every single one of them a world class, in form, English beauty. I know it's tough leaving players out but Fabio earns £6m a year. He knows what he's doing. Do any of you earn that? Exactly.

The keepers - Nice combo of young, old and prime. I exepct him to rotate them throughout the tournament. A nice touch. Roar.

The Defence - Shame about Daws not being planed but when you've got experience lions, bleeders and warriors primed and ready then why risk Daws? Terry, Rio and King are arguably/definitely the best 3 centre backs on the planet. Ashley Cole has been the world's best left back for about the last ten years and Johnson scored with his left peg last week. Job done. Roar.

The Midfield - This is where we shine the second most. It's a truly world class midfield, the likes of which hasn't been seen since Germany 2006. Lamps and Stevie G? Arguable the greatest pairing of all time, expect them to cement that title this summer. Lennon has pace and speed. Barry has Power and Strength. Joe Cole, a bit tippy tappy but he's shaved his head so knows what's expected. Look out for James Milner. He has a hammer left peg and I can see him being the Gazza 1990 for us this summer. Basically its a midfield designed to contain and destroy. Roar.

The strikers - Wazza, 8 players rolled in to 1. Hesk, immense, Crouchy is sharing the golden boot with Wazza because the only fact in football is that he guarantees goals. Defoe? We probably could have left him behind but he'll score a hat trick against Algeria so why not take him? We've got the lot and there's not a squad with four better strikers anywhere in the world. Roar.

Before today I was just confident we'd win it. Now I'm 1000% convinced we will. There isn't a hole to be picked in that squad. Compare it to any in the world and you'll see what I mean. Carrick probably won't get a touch all summer and he's been sh1t medals for the last few years. You see what I mean?

Thank you, Fabio, for picking this squad. Roar.

I'm going to lie down and think of England.

[DavidKennett]

Think the [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWFpPST94wU&feature=related]Mexican's[/url] are favoutites

Or maybe the [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Mf_PTB8juc&feature=related]Brasilians[/url] with their samba

[jon avery]

[quote="Snoop Doug"]Think I'm gonna support Argentina . Potential for some stunning footie and when we (ahem) win, well who doesn't wanna see Maradona run nekkid through Buenos Aires??

[huw williams]

Did anyone manage to stay awake during Gerrard's 'inspiring' and 'motivational' rallying call?

[quote="jon avery"][quote="Snoop Doug"]Think I'm gonna support Argentina . Potential for some stunning footie and when we (ahem) win, well who doesn't wanna see Maradona run nekkid through Buenos Aires??

[Toks]

[quote="huw williams"]Did anyone manage to stay awake during Gerrard's 'inspiring' and 'motivational' rallying call?

[sonic909]

Me and the missus were ready;
[img]http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab219/sonic9092/IMG_0510.jpg[/img]

[David Lombari]

"Erectile dysfunction is on the increase. If you suffer from this, please put a white flag with a red cross on your car to show your support....."

...so England supporters have at least got semi's to look forward to?

Forza Italia!!! (Not the political party, you understand).

[jon avery]

[quote="sonic909"]Me and the missus were ready;
[img]http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab219/sonic9092/IMG_0510.jpg[/img]

[adrian]

Whoever you're supporting, your team could do worse than remember the advice given by Kim Il-Sung to the N Korea team before letting them out to play in the 1966 World Cup:

[quote]To succeed at football, you must run very fast, jump very high and kick the ball very hard.

[quote="jon avery"][quote="sonic909"]Me and the missus were ready;
[img]http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab219/sonic9092/IMG_0510.jpg[/img]

[jon avery]

I see