Hello Addiscombe fourths, it's your CC Islington Hillingdon ally here.
The season's slipping away rapidly and it's time to start getting some results in. Now I'm sure we've all spent a lot of time listening to Toks lecture us about lactate threshold, VO2 max and the like, but we?re still getting whupped by an overweight teenager (um, as well as about twenty other riders...).
So why is he failing us? It seems to me he?s making the cardinal error of neglecting the psychological element at the expense of the merely physical. What we really need to do is cultivate ice-cold hatred of the opposition and the iron will to win. It?s obvious to me that all this ?training? Toks recommends is just making us slack and complacent. For this reason, I haven?t been on the bike in a fortnight, but I know that when I do finally clip in, I?ll be razor-sharp and cannibal-hungry to go out there and destroy the doughboy (who, ironically, I now resemble).
Instead of wasting time with aimless pedaling, I?ve been relentlessly honing my aggression, by dedicating myself to a new training regime of six weekly hour-long sessions of staring at a photo of Bernard Hinault and growling like a cornered badger. I?ve also been supplementing my diet with live snakes, ball bearings and lithium grease.
See you on Tuesday.