UK Etape/British Cyclosportive report

[adrian]

I'll do this report standing up, if you don't mind - as part of my ongoing adaptation to a new saddle, I've acquired an angry weal that makes sitting down quite unappealing.

Having risen at an obscene hour, rode up to Greenwich with Apples and another friend of mine. It had lashed it down all night but was already clearing up and the rainjacket was merely optional.

At the start couldn't see any other Agreeables, and it was clear that we could start without any hanging about, so we did that rather than wait around to hook up with the others.

The dash out of London on still-greasy roads had the inevitable results, with a few riders taking bends and approaches to roundabouts too quickly, and ending up on the deck.

The first hour found us in Gravesend - home of Dickens (one of many, admittedly) and place of my birth. There had been one or two little rises to get the heart rate going but nothing serious until we passed Rochester Castle - here there was a short but very steep climb that sent my HRM haywire.

At this point I was unwilling to undergo the suffering necessary to staying up with Apples and let him go his way. We were now heading due south towards Maidstone and the roads had dried up nicely. There was one more brief shower mid-morning, but it didn't amount to anything.

The only climb of any length came out of Tonbridge - it was maybe a couple of miles long but not terribly steep, and we've all done far worse than that.

The towns that the route took us through were clearly looking forward to having the Tour come through (and why not?), and a week early, lots of burgers had turned out to play their part in this dress rehearsal - it was very heartening to be clapped and urged on; can't say I'm used to that sort of thing on a bike. Particularly notable in this regard were the impossibly lovely town of Goudhurst and the lawless city of Tenterden.

After a lengthy spell at 30mph, we began to near the Straits of Dover, and we were riding right into the teeth of a freshening wind. We did a right angle to head back inland and negotiate the last main climb of the day - a short but nasty affair up to the Kent Downs that I imagine would see a fair few walker-uppers before the day was out. Our reward was the welcome sight of the '10 miles to go' sign.

These last ten were mostly downhill and downwind - you could only guess at the sort of insane speeds that will be attained here next week. It meant that in no time we were flying into Canterbury and to the finish. I crossed the line in a total time of just over 6:30, which I was pretty happy with. I'd avoided wasting time at feed stations, not all of which I stopped at, armed I was with a goodly supply of Melton Mowbray pork pies. I'd smeared these with mustard earlier for enhanced enjoyment.

The end was slightly anticlimatic - Family Apples was there but no-one else was around, so I shuffled off to collect my bag (nothing in which I needed as it turned out), get my bike on the truck and get on the bus.

Here the organisation went awry somewhat: one truckload of bikes equated to three busload of riders, so we all had to sit there, cramped and minging, until three buses filled up. This amounted to about an hour.

Apart from this, it was an excellent day and a well-run event that I'm pleased to have supported. The signing and marshalling was good and the feed stations regular and well-stocked. I did think it odd, though, that they didn't have any bananas, that cyclosportive staple. Yes, they had no bananas - they had no bananas today.

Looking forward to hearing how everyone else got on - Apples I do know did a storming time but, as Ian M would say, that's not my story to tell.

Cheers all

[Ian A4size]

I'm starting to warm to this sportive lark.... all this pork pie consumption is right up my street.
Energy gel anyone? nah i didn't think so!

I haven't had a slice since Christmas , and then it was a piece of game pie, with a most excellent crust, with a sublime gelatinous outer to the meat........ ahem!

I have found a salty snack most beneficial on longer rides.
a few years ago i remember huw and myself ( i was a little slimmer then) attacking a fellows members buffet at a christmas drinks party. Huw was at the pork pie- with great gusto, arms were flying in- mine as well, it was like watching an octopus wrestling a set of bagpipes!
Even then Huw was ahead of his time with the pie!

Great write up as usual, Adrian.

[Brian Nolan]

hey well done Adrian !

sounds like you done another storming ride with a top class write up to match.. Your reports always manage to be funny & v informative as well..

i must try the pork pie approach when I tackle the ' Spud ' ...

cheers,
brian