What's the best clean joke ever?

[huw williams]

This just came in and had is in stitches...


Bloke and his wife get woken in the middle of the night by the neighbour's dog barking in next door's garden.

"Sod this" says the bloke and runs down stairs.

5 minutes later he's back smiling but the dog is still outside barking

"What did you do?" asks the missus

"I put him in our garden to see how they like it."




There you go. Non sexist, non racist, non sizeist, non everything... f**k you Bernard Manning

[Jon H]

If I was a dog I'd be very upset by that joke, as it sterotypes the canine species as annoying barking animals that keep people awake at night.

[adrian]

I got a job in a tiddlywinks factory, but had to give it up. It was counter-productive.

I thank you

[Kevin Rynne]

Man walks into a butcher shop and asks the butcher "have you got a sheeps Head"

The butcher says no its just the way I part my hair.

[Tamar]

What d'you call a fish with no eye?

[-Adam-]

[quote="Tamar"]What d'you call a fish with no eye?

[Elliot M]

no idea!

fsh

what's brown and sticky?

[Maria David]

No idea ! (sorry !)

Almost as good as your judge with no thumbs joke !

Maria
http://www.2wheelchick.blogspot.com/

[Tamar]

fsh



That is my favourite ever joke! In close second place is: What d'you call a bear with no ears?.........B!

And of course, the old deer favourites of "no idea", "still no idea" and "still no f*cking idea" never fail amuse.

[Sylv]

Kevin wins hands down so far

[adrian]

Our ice-cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say he topped himself

[huw williams]

That tiddlywinks joke is classy though

[Andrew G]

1) A polar bear walks in to a pub and says "I'll have a gin...................................................................................and tonic please.
Barman says what's with the big pause?
polar bear: Dunno, always had 'em.

2) 2 fish swimming and the first one swims in to a wall, says "Dam(n)".

[Tamar]

Andrew's fish one is best so far.

[jon avery]

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman walk into a bar, the barman asks is this some sort of joke? I'll get my coat.