The worst Place To Get a Puncture!

[Toks]

How about flying down hill at 30mph approaching a major roundabout; and how about if the roundabout is full of fast moving traffic zipping in an out of the four exists leading too Ms 1, 25 and 4, and how about if its pouring with rain too; and fcuk it, how about the fact that not only are you absolutely socked to the bone, your spare tube is fcuked for some reason so you have to use a puncture kit and now you're crouched like some demented botanist behind some hedges but you can't fix the puncture cause the constant din from the traffic means you have to listen out for air escaping from the tube in schizophrenic type intervals. Shhit and then lets pretend (cause this surely couldn't happen) or how about if your speedplay cleats get clogged in mud and grit so when you finally get going your can't clip in and have to stop and use a flimsy balsa wood type splint to clean out your cleats cause twigs and shhit are just too big and you've brought that stupid chunky allen key which hasn't got the really sharp spikey bit like the one you left at home; oh and how about your now in your socks at the side of a 60mph A road and its not only raining but its suddenly become dark in that truly sneaky letsfcukover-the-cyclist-with-shhitty-blinker-lights-kinda-way. Oh and how about now that you've finally got going you can hear that sound again coming from your back wheel - you know the one people make when your a litle bit too noisy in the cinema

[George]

Bad day at the office Tok's

Sh1t Happens

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

It surely couldn't happen....could it?

[huw williams]

Who was it Toks? Sound's like an inadequately prepared complete novice who would benefit from one of PVTs basic preparation clubnight talks to me

[Grahame]

You could have fixed it with duct tape...

[Grahame]

[quote="Seanieh_LanterneRouge©"]What? No mention of zip ties?

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

or a snapped chain

[Jon H]

[quote="Toks"]How about flying down hill at 30mph approaching a major roundabout; and how about if the roundabout is full of fast moving traffic zipping in an out of the four exists leading too Ms 1, 25 and 4, and how about if its pouring with rain too; and fcuk it, how about the fact that not only are you absolutely socked to the bone, your spare tube is fcuked for some reason so you have to use a puncture kit and now you're crouched like some demented botanist behind some hedges but you can't fix the puncture cause the constant din from the traffic means you have to listen out for air escaping from the tube in schizophrenic type intervals. Shhit and then lets pretend (cause this surely couldn't happen) or how about if your speedplay cleats get clogged in mud and grit so when you finally get going your can't clip in and have to stop and use a flimsy balsa wood type splint to clean out your cleats cause twigs and shhit are just too big and you've brought that stupid chunky allen key which hasn't got the really sharp spikey bit like the one you left at home; oh and how about your now in your socks at the side of a 60mph A road and its not only raining but its suddenly become dark in that truly sneaky letsfcukover-the-cyclist-with-shhitty-blinker-lights-kinda-way. Oh and how about now that you've finally got going you can hear that sound again coming from your back wheel - you know the one people make when your a litle bit too noisy in the cinema

[Andrew G]

Poor paragraphs too .

[MJ_1993]

yes, the structure needs thought

remember people do not like reading chunks of text, split it up

(that goes for Mr PVT as well)

[Brian Nolan]

well you get my sympathy Toks - sounds like you had a real nightmare !
i liked the demented botanist bit

[quote="Jon Hemming"][quote="Toks"]How about flying down hill at 30mph approaching a major roundabout; and how about if the roundabout is full of fast moving traffic zipping in an out of the four exists leading too Ms 1, 25 and 4, and how about if its pouring with rain too; and fcuk it, how about the fact that not only are you absolutely socked to the bone, your spare tube is fcuked for some reason so you have to use a puncture kit and now you're crouched like some demented botanist behind some hedges but you can't fix the puncture cause the constant din from the traffic means you have to listen out for air escaping from the tube in schizophrenic type intervals. Shhit and then lets pretend (cause this surely couldn't happen) or how about if your speedplay cleats get clogged in mud and grit so when you finally get going your can't clip in and have to stop and use a flimsy balsa wood type splint to clean out your cleats cause twigs and shhit are just too big and you've brought that stupid chunky allen key which hasn't got the really sharp spikey bit like the one you left at home; oh and how about your now in your socks at the side of a 60mph A road and its not only raining but its suddenly become dark in that truly sneaky letsfcukover-the-cyclist-with-shhitty-blinker-lights-kinda-way. Oh and how about now that you've finally got going you can hear that sound again coming from your back wheel - you know the one people make when your a litle bit too noisy in the cinema

[Sylv]

What, Jon's? Sure is. I thought yours were pretty good considering the state of annoyance you must have been in when typing.

[Marek]

That is nothing, a few years ago I was cycling out of Brixton up towards Streatham on a windy day on my way home from work. A newspaper came flying across the road, I avoided it with my front wheel, but then it blew into my back wheel, wratcheted up my rear mech and stopped the bike. I went over the handlebars, not too fast thankfully and landed on the floor. My rear mech was ripped off the bike and therefore a major overhaul was required.

Well, I was dressed in full Cippolini outfit with a broken bike, look cleat shoes, difficult to walk, let alone run away and it was starting to get dark.

How I made it home alive is anyones guess, but I managed it eventually but I can tell you it is the most scared I have ever been while being out on a bike, I don't wear the Cippo outfit that often anymore.

Cheers

Marek...

[Keith]

Worst place to get a puncture?

Can't decide between...

Front wheel blow out after giving it some on the rapid decent from Col du Glandon - never ever, ever, ever use repaired tubes on an Alpine descent - the heat from all the hairpin braking melts the glue.

...or...

Rear wheel flat in sight of the top of the last hill of Tour of the Hills, when out in front only to find you tyre levers are sitting on the kitchen table at home . (Thanks to the next man, Hal for the loan!)