Extreme bike security

[huw williams]

OK. So we got this idea for a feature on what people do to secure their sheds and garage to prevent their bikes getting nicked.

I went to an ex-con mate of mine (reformed) who a) rides bikes and b) used to rely on shotguns rather than insurance poilcies. Then when that farmer got banged up for shooting an intruder he thought that (what with his previous and all) he'd better give guns up and get a little more creative.

So he rigged this up in his shed

[img]http://i19.tinypic.com/6cylv83.jpg[/img]

As you can plainly see its a battery operated, trip-wire operated system which sets off a 130db combination of siren and buzzer, not good in a confined space full of metal like a garage or bike shed - next up he's wired in 2 maroon thunder-flashes which are what the army use to simulate battlefields in war-zone training. To finish up he's got a smoke canister which releases tear gas over a 40 second duration.

Now I was interested in how we were going to get a picture of this device in operation so he said he’d try it out to see what happens when you set it off.

Here's what he said...
"I set it up in my shed, trailed the wire out of the door, stood 3 feet from the shed and it STILL scared the crap out of me when it went off. LOUD and violent, you can feel the pressure-wave on your chest as they go off. And I was outside the shed. I think being in the same room as one, would cause disorientation, temporary blindness and deafness as well as an organo-extrusion/farbric interface (You'd s**t your kecks). And that was just using one of the maroons. Now I've got two of those bad-boys wired in there..."

He lives in North London but offered to bring it down to my place to demonstrate – “You live in South Croydon, I can rig one of these babys into your hallway?” he offered, “That’s South Croydon, not South f***ing Central” I reminded this lunatic - I didn't like the idea of him carrying it (a bomb essentially) through London. I was also trying not to imagine Salem walking in and setting the ****er off. It'd be like a Kiss doing a gig in my livingroom and I'd be picking cat bits out of the woodwork for weeks.

[MJ_1993]

I am not going to comment, mainly for fear of being reported, and having to wear those ghastly orange jumpsuits (i would rather wear that vanderkitten kit...then again maybe not)

mind you this could turn the terror spotlight onto cyclists

[Snoop Doug]

Couple of great posts here, love the orange jumpsuit comment Mo! Huw - bring it on round my place mate - we've got foxes in these parts and I reckon this thang going of would get them the hell out of the neighbourhood! Even if it didn't I'd love to see/hear/feel it go orf!

[Rob C]

How much does he want for one? They look good to me.

[MJ_1993]

ssshhh, not on the internet

[huw williams]

Well we're sending a photographer with time lapse equipment round to his shed to capture the moment of release so I'll let you know how it goes

Of course any volunteers to walk in and set it off would be appreciated and you'd get you picture in the magazine (and all over you tube I suspect)

[MJ_1993]

lol, hmmm...

When is it?

[MJ_1993]

I'll volunteer if I miss school, and get plastered over the internet

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

I think you'd be plastered all over the shed

[MJ_1993]

lol. But according to the stereotype, I am an expert in explosives, and have been trained in terrorist schools in Pakistan. Despite the fact that I hate bin Laden etc.

So y are you worrying?

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

[quote]But according to the stereotype,

[quote="mrP(Boonen)VT"][quote]But according to the stereotype,

[MJ_1993]

nah, it has to be trimmed like the Ayatollah I follow. Too untidy.
I mean I have to look good when I die and end up in heaven (somehow, by killing civilians, extremists think your going to go to heaven )

Mind you what they say about 'ones terrorist is anothers freedom fighter' is quite true

[MJ_1993]

nah, it has to be trimmed like the Ayatollah I follow. Too untidy (with all due respect)
I mean I have to look good when I die and end up in heaven (somehow, by killing civilians, extremists think your going to go to heaven )

Mind you what they say about 'ones terrorist is anothers freedom fighter' is quite true

[MJ_1993]

i know