Sex: tick
Age: 3-4 years too old, but could pass for a younger man in the right light
Weight: I need fewer pies than Jon to make up the weight - could do it by Christmas, no problem
Height: About an inch too short
Years riding: Club riding for 5 years, commuting about 14 years, have owned and ridden a bike since, ooh, about 1971.
Hours a week: Loads more, even if I just ride to work and do a normal club-run.
If it turns out that this 'average' chubby, arriviste, youthful part-timer is quicker than me, I am going to call it a day and take up golf