The duck is dead

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she
laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened
to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly
and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? "Yes, I am sure. The
duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned
a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front
paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to
his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20 but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150.00."

[Ian A4size]

But was cuddles using shimano...

[Colin.Steadman]

hahahaha V funny

[Jon H]

I quacked up reading that.

[adrian]

That has to go 'down' as one of the best jokes I've heard all year

[Sylv]

I doubt we liver hear a better one.

[adrian]

I don't know if I mallard to prolong this thread, but canard-ly help myself

[Sylv]

Eider way, you're no fun anymore.

[adrian]

But I'm pato-logically incapable of - oh, all right then. If that's how you feel, á l'orange for someone else to write my posts in future

[Sylv]

Canard just say? This duck is getting lame now. Riduckulous even.

[Jon H]

Lots of people have been Peking at this thread.

[mrP(Boonen)VT]

LOL - really, sitting at my desk.

The duck is dead, long live the duck.

[Sylv]

Harpo says that last one was not soup-er

[adrian]

Donald puns sound a bit shot after a bit?

[adrian]

I don't know why you drake it all up again, just when it was coming to an eend