Hell of Ashdown report

[Andrew G]

From the official timing so may be a bit out on some. I know Ed flew round but the results look odd with the first few riders 30-40 mins clear of everybody else (45 mins clear of Keith and Huw ):

Ed 3.04
Keith 3.52
Huw 3.54
Jon H 4.07
Michelle 4.20
Andrew G 4.32
Paul D 4.32
Adrian 4.34
Mark Locke 4.52
Jonathan B 4.57
Snoop 5.03

I know I've probably missed a couple but don't know surnames to search on.

[huw williams]

Like I say - if riders were starting behind me and keith - they would have to have come past us quite early on the road to finish over 40 minutes ahead of us - nobody came past our group and I know not many were capable of going past Keith the way he was flying round

its probably a simple case of finishing times being entered incorrectly - I suspect that rider Number 7 at 3:40 is the fastest time. Otherwise there should be dozens of riders between the times of 3:09 and 3:40

Help us out here Ed - what did your computer say?

[Snoop Doug]

I've never bought a piece of (c)rap ha before and I sure as hell (of ashdown) ain't gonna now. I've emailed (c)rap ha to tell 'em what a bunch of jerks their team looked @ the finish on Sunday. Doubtless news of my all round cycling prowess will have reached these jokers and so I'll surely be expecting a personal call from the prez of (c)rap ha himself to apologise soonest......

[huw williams]

Sometin like that

the irony is two of the guys in our group when it was 4 strong after Ashdown were part sponsored by Rapha and were riding in full black kit on Pistas - nicest guys you could care to ride with - worlds apart from their elite colleagues

[huw williams]

Just had a red-faced organiser on the phone - as expected the first 6 times are all +1 hour - so you can work out your ammended positions based on that

which puts Keith in a superb top 10 and me in 14th but we both still got pasted by a girl - Claire Thomas

I'm assuming due to the locality that this is not Elite rider Claire Thomas of Edinburgh CC who is scottish national champ - in which case who is it?

Tamar, Maria can you help?

[adrian]

Great day out yesterday - really enjoyble ride in excellent company and weather to match.

The weekend lasts so much longer when you get up at 6am, don't you find? This I did in order to get to meet Andrew, Ed, Mark and ? (sorry) at West Wickham at 7.15. In the event I grossly underestimated the distance there from my house and made them wait. Sorry, chaps

As Shane once sang, 'The old town, it was chill' early on, but we arrived at Knockholt in bright sunshine and things were looking promising. The air in the already-bursting 'sportive HQ' was thick and fetid with up-too-early-and-coffee breath, but after an initial swoon, I pulled myself together, hooked up with most of the other Agreeables on duty, got my sociable 9.08 start time and scored a cup of tea.

The runaway lowlight of the day came before we'd even turned a pedal in anger: the grim half-hour wait for the distinctly unappealing lone toilet (or khazi - Andrew, take note). It may have been the stink causing me to hallucinate, but I'm sure I saw Huw disappear into the toilet, never to emerge . This only made it the more reminiscent of that scene from Trainspotting .

The delay meant that Mark and I missed our start time and had to catch our group up, but luckily Paul and Andrew made a pit-stop atop Toy's Hill, so we were all back on board pretty early on.

The next hour-and-a-half passed amiably enough in a relatively leisurely punt round the lanes. The fact that so many Agreeables stopped and waited for Jonathan's puncture gives you an idea of the relaxed vibe that was abroad. All those yellow jerseys at the side of the road must have been a welcoming sight - only Keith and Michelle resisted the siren song and declined to tarry awhile in the sun. When we eventually got going again, Jon and Snoop had swelled our number.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Kidd's Hill (now rebranded The Wall ) marked a turning-point, and after the control point at the top, our group became a little strung out. I was still feeling happy enough but was unable to keep up with Andrew and Paul (the latter going great guns despite being a graduate of the same school of descending as me) on the long descent down to the foot of Groombridge, and unwilling to play silly b*ggers with Medway Velo and their elbows.

Did catch them up again by the top of Groombridge, but back on the flat (such as it was), they edged away again. Andrew's diagnosis is spot on - this was the first ride of any distance I've done since before Christmas, and I just didn't have the stamina to keep pushing. Still, Ide Hill didn't present too many problems - at least, I was able to to maintain a conversation with Andrew going up it. Well, he talked, and I listened

I'd imagined that we'd drop straight off Ide and have a bit of respite before the drag up to and final climb over Star Hill, but instead there was a 'diversion' through Otford. So the wait to start the final climb seemed interminable, alone as I was at this point. Still, the pain of last year didn't ever really materialise, and though I wasn't able to manage the sh1t-eating grin for the photographer that I had earlier in the day (compare pages 1 and 5 of the blue-jerseys photos, if you can be bothered - and why would you be?), I got up and over without too much fuss, and skulked back into the HQ to be given a certificate, a Vulcan-death-grip handshake and a time of 4.34. Hmm - 'kay.

The air quality in the clubhouse hadn't improved in the interim - in fact, the whiff of hundreds of smelly post-ride riders made for a heady cocktail, and not the most propitious luncheon environment. Even so, I wolfed down sausage rolls, brioche rolls, bread pudding - basically, anything I could get my meat hooks on. I had the usual slightly dazed conversation with the others, and looked on in bemusement as the Rapha people were handed out their musettes. The flunky charged with this solemn task was a Dutchman, and I considered asking him if he had any spare ones. But I remembered my dignity and pride just in time and went for another cup of tea and a sausage roll instead.

Just before we left for home, a rather battle-weary Snoop came in - I decided that this perhaps wasn't the moment to ask if he'd remembered to bring my copy of the Christmas CD

Missed the Croydon turn-off on the way back and flew down the hill towards Bromley with Paul before realising I needed to turn back up . This meant I'd now lost Andrew, Jon, Mark, Jonathan and ? (sorry), but at least the end was in sight. Lost a few style points going up Anerley Hill to Crystal Palace, but it really is all downhill for me from there and I arrived back at Ashworth Towers - in the last of the light - in good humour (despite having got my bike all dirty) and satisfied with my day's work.

Total mileage for the day was 102 for me. Like last year, that's the cobwebs blown away - the cycling year can now start in earnest.

Once again, great to see so many Addiscombes out - well done one and all.

[Maria David]

[quote]I'm assuming due to the locality that this is not Elite rider Claire Thomas of Edinburgh CC who is scottish national champ - in which case who is it?

Tamar, Maria can you help?

[EdO]

[quote="Andrew G"]From the official timing so may be a bit out on some. I know Ed flew round but the results look odd with the first few riders 30-40 mins clear of everybody else (45 mins clear of Keith and Huw ):

Ed 3.04
Keith 3.52
Huw 3.54
Jon H 4.07
Michelle 4.20
Andrew G 4.32
Paul D 4.32
Adrian 4.34
Mark Locke 4.52
Jonathan B 4.57
Snoop 5.03

I know I've probably missed a couple but don't know surnames to search on.

[huw williams]

Cheers Ed

4:04 is still a bloody good time

Look at that ride by Michelle, no wonder Keith is so fast, he's got to be, otherwise he'd soon be getting a pasting off the missus

[Andrew G]

Quality as ever Adrian. I did wonder if you intended to follow Paul or just had your nose on the bars trying to hang on to his wheel.

[Paul on the Pearson]

Have just looked back through the reports, must be something wrong with my computer, I posted some post ride punditry earlier but it appears to have gone awol. As to the mysterious Claire Thomas whilst waiting for the hall to open one of the organisers said riders were coming from all over the place, even Scotland.

[Keith]

[quote="adrian"]All those yellow jerseys at the side of the road must have been a welcoming sight - only Keith and Michelle resisted the siren song ....

[Keith]

[quote="huw williams"]
[size=100]Reality check:[/size] At 114 miles and 3793m of climbing, the ToBM (which a lot of you have signed up for) is pretty close to being twice the distance and twice the climbing as Hell of Ashdown

[quote="huw williams"]
Look at that ride by Michelle, no wonder Keith is so fast, he's got to be, otherwise he'd soon be getting a pasting off the missus

[Ian A4size]

Michelle, there is no way it would take you 12 hours- even a lard ass like me can do that- and no i am not doing it. Been there and done that.