Apologies in advance for the rambling nature of what follows.
5 little soldiers met up at GBs for a trip to the coast – Mark Mcl, Neil Mac, Ant, Dan (fresh from a 2am return from the pub), and myself.
One of the things I love about the English country towns and villages is the names so you’ll have to excuse my liberal sprinkling of them throughout. I’d plotted what looked to be a fairly decent run down with the advantage of being pretty simple to follow, boy was it undulating though! It was like being on a roller-coaster, I don’t think any of us can remember a bit of flat road
.
Climbed up to Selsdon, Warlingham, and then on to Titesy to head out via Crockham. Now it was just straight “down†the B2026 all the way to Maresfield. This is a really nice road and we were all happily rolling along, up and down the lumps. The long climb all the way up through Ashdown Forest caught a couple out who didn’t know what was ahead of them
. A quick regroup (waiting for me to climb a hill
) at the top where Ant decided that an ice lolly was just what he needed
, so the rest of us enjoyed the spectacular views and did a quick map check for the next section.
From now on I didn’t know the roads though so I’d be stumbling across them for the first time too! Great decent off Ashdown to Maresfield, nip through Ringles Cross and on to the B2102 at Uckfield to start heading east. Another lovely rolling fantastically quiet country road took us through Blackboys, Cross in Hand, and then a dive over to the B2096. Through Punnett’s Town and we had a map/pee stop in Netherfield (I did warn you about the names). We decided here to not bother with Hastings as it’s not that special and we would be lunching in Rye. Hastings would mean A road to the coast and then A road along to Rye, not great after the stunning roads and lanes we’d been enjoying.
We headed for Mountfield next to hook up with the B road in to Rye. This was the only point we got a bit lost in the day. Not a bad getting lost though, we missed a very small right turn so ended up looping back towards Brightling but this gave us a ride along a glorious piece of narrow, well surfaced, deathly quiet lane round the Darwell Reservoir. One of my best getting losts
.
We stopped at the next sign we saw which told us we’d gone wrong, As I was getting the map out Dan suddenly let out a cry and disappeared from sight in to the long grass
. Once he’d stopped playing silly buggers (if you’re going to have a roll in the long grass at least make sure you’re not alone) we dropped down a great, narrow, tree covered descent to get to Robertsbridge and pick up the A21.
We had to have a drag along here for a mile or two to pick up the B2089 which would take us in to Rye. Unfortunately for Ant his legs fell off here and he had the mother of all bad spells as we drove up the A21 drag. Dan was on the front, which was a fairly common occurrence, and just has no idea how strong he is and was struggling reign himself in. We tied an anvil to his bike though and dragged Ant to the top so we could get to the B road and a net downhill run in to Rye.
On passing a signpost saying 11 miles to go, and with a slight tailwind, Dan got his tail up and just powered along towing us in to Rye at 25-27mph!
We rolled through Rye like a band of desperados, desperate for food that is. We followed Dan’s knowledge of Rye to an Italian restaurant and collapsed in to the seats in the garden. A shufty at the bike computer said 80 miles done – blimey on a CBC we’d be approaching Reigate on the way back at that point
.
Excellent food as we all demolished a big bowl of pasta. Whilst sunning ourselves Mark suggested a different route back to the one I had initially planned as it was likely to be just as undulating as the run down, our legs would start screaming at us if we had to go straight back up the descent we’d had in to Rye in to a headwind, and none of us had lights
. On consulting his maps a new route was plotted and off we went.
First things first – sweets! Back up the lane to ye olde sweet shop, a proper one with all your old favourites in jars
, to stock up on jelly babies and fudge. Man that fudge was good, just melted in your mouth, it was a good job I didn’t have a bag with me or I’d have had a lot of weight to carry home
. 2 laps of Rye first to soak in the atmosphere, and we missed the road out we wanted, and we were away...straight in to a 15% climb
.
This HURT. I hadn’t really eaten and drunk enough on the way down so the pasta was heavenly but hadn’t had a chance to work its magic yet so this hill really had me grovelling.
Heading north towards Tenterden we cut over early at Rolvenden and then the B2086 to Iden Green and Goudhurst. More glorious lanes and countryside kept us company as we worked our way through Matfield towards Tonbridge.
Full marks to Mark for this alternate way back as it was a cracker. In to Tonbridge centre as we all wanted to refill our bottles. I’d make the cardinal sin of forgetting to get a pork pie the day before too so grabbed one of those in the fantastically expensive shop. Mind you by this time (6pm) choice was limited on what was still open. I’m sorry to report the pork pie was of a very poor standard, but I still had some fudge left
. I broke it to the others that they weren’t going to get back for the Tour highlights
, I was alright I’d set the video.
We came out of Tonbridge up the KOM climb used in the Tour last year and then hooked right to head for Penshurst. Back on familiar roads, well for some of us anyway, others were still blissfully in the dark. Just after Penshurst and we had our only puncture of the day when Dan hit some broken glass in the road.
Onwards and then Mark and Ant shot passed the left turn we wanted, I shouted and Neil managed to stop in time, Mark stopped and shouted again at Ant who’d got carried away at going downhill
. After a quiet moment he reappeared and we were now on the final run in. At Four Elms we managed to avoid the temptation of Toys Hill and climbed the Pootings drag to Crockham, up the first part of the hill before turning right to carry on climbing before the drop in to Westerham.
The final arse hauling to be done now up Botley’s 3 steps and then the vat of tea and sofa was in sight.
Thanks to Neil, Mark, Dan, and Ant for a great day, one of my favourites on the bike certainly. It ended up a really nice route down and back and we were only on a vaguely busy road for about 5 miles in to total once out passed Selsdon. Topped off by great weather that kept us all warm and dry. A few PBs toady I think, my longest time on the bike in one day (distance:150 miles and time:9 hours) I know, and at a decent pace all the time - the undulating roads bringing the average speed down to 16.5mph
Home and huge quantities of tea were drunk and the 13" pizza and garlic bread never stood a chance while I watched the Tour stage
I took the Garmin watch so I’ll put the map in the Routes section once I’ve had a chance to download the data, if anyone fancies a nice 150 miles of undulating terrain
.
If you're still awake, well done
.