Les Ingman Memorial RR - 26th April '09

[-Adam-]

[quote="Sylv"]Sounds great Michelle!

[Toks]

Its a real shame peeps can't access the London Dynamo forum at the moment they certainly full of themselves at the moment. Anyway my racing buddy Stuart Spies has put together a great report:

‘Just look at Ians wheel, just look at Ians wheel, don’t think about anything, the wheel Spies the wheel!!’ That’s me and my brain, somewhere at the STUPIDFARTOGO mark as Dynamo pulled off what can only be described as a tactical masterpiece (If you want humilty stop reading, this one’s too good!) We had all arrived in deepest darkest Outwood Surrey for the inaugural Les Ingham E,1,2, a great race for Dynamo’s really, Paul Kiwispin Delahunty’s name sits proudly on the trophy….erm mate they were looking for it by the way.

Everyone in the HQ seemed a little subdued and respectful of the 130km of hurt that lay in wait, some pretty worthwhile teams were assembled and the likes of Steve Calland, Justin Hoy and Richard Prebble meant we’d need to show a little attentiveness to what was going on. This being my first biggie of the year I wanted to finish, and be useful, that was it! Ian had mentioned he was not expecting anything too dramatic from himself, everyone had done Palace and then of course the moron brothers Cam and Hoult had managed a 130km training ride mid week…excellent we’re on it then?

We’re off, now I tend to suffer from a bit of an adrenaline surge everytime we start a race, I managed a whole one lap and a bit before it was all too much and I pulled a small gap on the bunch, this was NOT meant to be a break, oh sh1t look whos next to me, John I have the longest name in the world Heaton Armstrong noooo this means he’s going to want to work, fine lets see how we go. Two numpties joined us and it was game on for me (I think the bunch were about 8 sec’s away laughing at us).

You go through a small town and take a left up a rather draggy climb, it was at this point I heard the ever informative yelp of ‘op op!!’ or is that ‘yop pop?’ whatever anyway The Hemmant and Cam arrived, sweet mother, Cam pulled off so hard my eyes were rolling back in my head but not having looked back I figured dying in no mans land this early was not an option…so think of this as unlikely move of the day number duex…I mean who in their right mind attacks with 100km’s to go??

The bunch was apparently now beginning to show life, on what has to be the best Surrey League descent down Prince of Wales Road. The bunch were lining up for the kill, they had us…thank fook…..ey? what the hell Ian launches Unlikely move 3, Cam and Tom react, Spies finds himself stamping the pedals for all his worth and we’re away….four of us, all from the same team! The bunch weren’t the only ones bemused by the lunacy, Hemmant Snr was looking a little confused as he handed us bottles undoubtedly thinking something along the lines of ‘oh hell’.

I was having a moment, I’m in the break with Hemmant and Paine…some people collect stamps ok, for me this was big! Cam is ridiculously annoyingly strong at the moment, as I’m breathing through my arse, seeing halo’s he’s saying helpful things like ‘jeez its quite far to go still’ Cheers Cam, next time when you see camel snot, gritted teeth and pulsing head vein please don’t talk to me!!!!! We thundered on, but it was evident we were going to need a whole lot of help for this to not turn into a monumental roger, Calland arrives….and Spies….WHAT? Some InGear freak has stolen my damn name??

By now I’m on full red lights, the laps were passing and we were working really well together but every climb was reducing me to hyperventilating bug-eyed mess and no matter how much I ate the energy levels were dwindling. Ian was showing signs of wear but King Of being what he is just finds the gear, stands up, and claws himself back on.

Sorry I’ve neglected the bunch the lads will have to fill in the details but what I gathered was Dave, Greeno, Will and Houlty were having a field day, everytime Prebble attacked, ta daa there popped a blue and orange wheel sucker, or an In Gear, or a Norwood…he must love racing the plebs. Still our boys were receiving spans of abuse so they were clearly doing a fine job of marshalling and disrupting! At the same time riders were dropping like flies and the bunch was weeding out all but the most insane.

Back up in Pain Central I had downed enough gel to kick start an elephant heart and actually started to think, hey, 50km to go, that’s like five times around the park flat out….BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM, the road rose, the Spies expired (Spies 1, me). Descimated, still I was pretty chuffed 80km of hell, three mates up the road and oh hello Dave! Struele was on it like feathers on an ostrich, ‘WHOS UP THE ROAD?!?!?’ He commanded….er…er….brain….um…TOM CAM IAN CALLA…..he’s off, Dave was on Alex Higham’s wheel (he came 3rd at the Ras) with another hanger on all riding with intent.

Crikey…if we don’t win this bastard I’ll have to start a new sport, the bunch arrives, a much appreciated congrats from Rich M and another yell from Houlty ‘WHO’S UP THERE?’ everyone mate everyone, if it all goes tits up its down to you and Greeno, no pressure…

God I finally make it back to the start finish, Will is already sunning himself but considering he nailed a 3rd at the Hog the day before I reckon some time out is in order. Joe is still on call for bottles and its tense times as we wait for the bunch. They’re here! Whos in there? Brilliant, Dave bridged, Ian is in pieces just out the back but not knowing the meaning of stop, carries on across the line for one last lap of torture.

We waited for the final onslaught, the gap between the chasers and the break was looking tentative, this being so, our boys were going to have to work, clearly this played right into Callands hands, come the sprint Calland motored away from a hard charging Tom followed by the Cam and his amazing hurt face and DAVE!! Damn! 2nd 3rd 4th QUALITY!!!!!! Rich Mason smoked the bunch for the 1st of the chasers and Houlty and Greeno charged in for what I think were still top 20 points places…but we’ll have to wait and see the official results.

An awesome ride by our boys, seriously this really rocked, never been this happy after a DNF in my life! Well done and thanks gents!!!

[Toks]

Oh and here's Adam's new best mate's report - Cameron Austin
]Les Ingham Road Race:

1st: Steve Calland Norwich Dynamo

You may know him from previous dynamo lead out wins such as the Three day, and other various 2/3 (SURELY HE IS CAT 1 BY NOW) Surrey League races.

After a lap of yo yoing up and down the field for position and keeping a mental note of ALL TRAFFIC ISLANDS on the course, the dynamo 4up TT effort up the road obviously put the fear into Steve "Not only can I beat you on a bike at twice your age, I fly jets and boff Air hostesses for a living" Calland, who bridged across. Game. On.

The last few laps were pretty difficult to play, because the bunch had reeled us in to 45s at one point, Alex "Anorexic EPO addict" Higham was screaming at the group to pull. Attacking one by one would be the correct move, but the motorbikes and flashing lights behind limited it to just one:

Out of the bottom left hairpin, 1.5km? from the end Tomo pulled out the full out of the saddle Nodding Donkey special.

The In Gear rocket scientist pulled over for me to chase him down, and everyone looked around at each other...

Softpedalling at the front, with the Hemmant hovering at 75m, my only job was to hold Calland's wheel.

HOLD. CALLAND'S. WHEEL.

Sure enough a the base of the hill big Steve smoothly edged up beside me, still in the saddle, and in the big ring (Yes I remembered to study the Calland Front Mech), then the Hammer fell, hard.

Deep in the Red now. Matching him for pace, we hit the shallow section before the second ramp.

KADUNK.

Surely not, what on earth is he doing changing gear?

both out of the saddle and the gap inches out to 6 inches, then a foot. Then its all over. Mentally, physically, pain searingly over. I see him catch up with Tomo and eat his second dynamo of the day.

Therefollowed the most painful few pedalstrokes of my entire life, full climax face on dribbling, snivelling mess. Tom stayed out in front, Dave securing a well earned 4th place after dominating Higham on the way across... Very glad to see that big Time arrive in the break.

Cracking effort from all involved, Rich I will happily pay you to make Justin white shout at you again, and sterling effort from both Tomo and waterboy.

Cammers

[Toks]

Surely you need a report from the bunch too
http://www.theroadcyclist.com/

[Sylv]

You missed eyepea's report Toks

[quote="Toks"]Calland arrives….and Spies….WHAT? Some InGear freak has stolen my damn name??

[Tony]

Hey, well-done Adam. Sounds like you had a strong ride. My somewhat limited experience of stage racing suggests that the first week after a stage race, the legs usually said No. However, two weeks afterwards, they'd say Come On! and you're noticeable more competitive than beforehand. Maybe you're finding the same?

The commentary from the Dynamo forum does suggest that some of those Dyanmos are getting a bit too big for their cycling shoes. One side of me suggests we should forgive a bit of transgression due to their excitment after a good race; the other suggests we should all pile over to RIchmond Park mob handed and have it out with them en masse one Saturday morning. We can show them whose the real freaks are!

[-Adam-]

Cheers Tony, yeah, the form is really building now. Also I think the training I couldn't do for the month or so after getting knocked off last time really had an effect. So I'm just catching up now...

[MJ_1993]

well done. i'm starting to think it was this one i was meant to read.. nice job of getting into the break, i know how hard it is getting into the right break and all from the extensive gaming on pro cycling manager.