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31st - Hal Bransby - 6:28
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38th - Andrew Ellis - 6:32
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955th - Ed Shingles - 12:58
This time last year I promised myself that I wouldn't do this event again, it was definitely the hardest thing i'd done on a bike, harder than the GranFondos in Italy and harder than the Tour of Wessex here in the UK. But as is always the way, after a couple of months the pain and suffering had been forgotten and my name was on list of starters for 2009
I was riding this event under the colours of my work club (UBS) who had gotten a team entry for the 2nd year running, but I made sure I met up with Hal for the start as I knew he got a good time last year and would be great company. We set off in a group of 5 (Hal, me + 3 others representing UBS, including Brian Phillips of EGCC) and after barely a mile it was straight into the climbing up to Hawkshead. Although this was the easiest climb of the day it certainly opened the lungs up and I was well into the red but feeling comfortable as Hal set a good pace. A nice rolling descent down the other side and we were soon heading upwards again towards the Kirkstone Pass. This is about as Alp-ish as climbs get in the UK with an easy-ish gradient (by local standards anyway) and great views as it opens out near the top after around 5km of climbing.
The descent off of Kirkstone is simply awesome, not too step and a few quick bends thrown in and by the time we hit the bottom we had picked up a few others and were now motoring along in a group of about 10, Brian really pushing the pace on the flats (he'd regaled us with tales of his 3:55 100 on a fixed the night before
). A few of the hangers on got dropped going up the deceptively tough Matterdale End and by the time we hit the A66 we were down to 6. A great through and off and we were soon through Keswick and on the B roads approaching the mighty Honnister. This is where the ride really starts to get tough, and passing through the small village of Seatoller the road goes up, up and up some more No chance of easing into it, it hits you with 25% straight away on a narrow road through the trees, looking up ahead the road was strewn with riders zig-zagging all over the shop and a fair few walking. Hal and I slowly made our way up, trying to measure our efforts and after a few hundred meters it eased off to 15-20% and coming out of the trees it's an awe inspiring sight. Rugged barren hills all around with a thin sliver of tarmac winding it's way into the distance, full of suffering souls. The next couple of km to the top are really varied, constantly changing in pitch and direction as you pass the slate mine and finally get to the top. No chance to recover as you immediately plunge down a 25% drop and I was immediately on the brakes. This descent is truly terrifying, hands and arms screaming in pain as you dare not let go of the brakes, everything's a blur as your eyeballs are shaken out their sockets from the severely rutted road, praying the speed stays low enough to navigate the hairpin bends (and more importantly stay away from the 4ft stone walls that will stop you if you don't!). 2km later I finally eased off the brakes and pushed along towards the first feed. We regrouped here but were now down to 3 of us (Hal, me and Brian). After a quick nature break, bottle refill and a jam sandwich we set off, immediately hitting the Newlands climb. After Honnister this seemed pretty easy, barely 1km at 15-20% and we were up it pretty swiftly before making out way down the other side, again a lot easier than Honnister. The next 50km or so were reasonably straightforward, with only (only
) the climbs of Whinlatter, Fangs Brow and Kelton Fell but as these were all around 10-15% they're small cheese compared to what lay in wait. On the approach to Cold Fell we picked up another of our original group who somehow managed to miss us at the feed station and had been hammering it for over an hour to try and catch us up 
By this stage we were pretty much alone, just passing the odd rider that had set off early. The climb up Cold Fell is another stunner, open moor land with some real steep ramps and lots of sheep and cows (and the accompanying cattle grids). The descent down the other side was pretty manageable and we arrived at the final feed station. I was craving something savoury at this point and a tuna roll went down a treat 
Back on the road and we were soon approaching Hardknott, the pace dropped as we stuffed our faces with every spare morsel left in our pockets. We had all done the event before so knew what was in store. Hitting the climb it was straight into bottom gear, and Hal and I began edging our way ahead of our companions. The first 500m or so are brutal, varying between 25-30% and even worse on the switchbacks. Just before it eased off we passed a photographer and were told we were 6th & 7th on the road. Blimey, seeing as we set off 1hr later than some that was obviously good going and definitely gave me a boost. After a few hundred meters of 20% or so it was back to the serious stuff of 25-30% for the remaining 500m. Out the saddle and trying not to fall off we battled up side by side eyes starting to glaze over wishing for the suffering to end.. Hal let out big ROOOAARR for the final few meters and over the top we went. Yet another horrifying descent, seriously steep with an incredibly poor surface and switchbacks I was mightily relieved when we hit the valley. Now just one major climb to go. Although Wrynose is just as steep as Hardknott it's thankfully only half the length, but as I was halfway up i got the first sign my legs didn't much care for the battering they had been taking for the last 6hrs, but kept pushing on
Hal had opened up a gap of about 10secs over the top and I chased pretty hard on the descent, too hard at one point as I locked the back wheel, foot out the pedal and onto the grass verge with less than a foot to spare before the nothingness below A couple of km of chasing and I'd finally caught Hal, who had just caught up with another strong rider. As the three of us made our way up the final short climb and turned onto the final run in my legs finally gave out
. Now i've had my fair share of bonks, but this was something else. My legs went in an instant, from feeling strong (relatively speaking after 175km and 12 brutal climbs) i literally had nothing left. A small rise of <5% for 30m had me in bottom gear and wishing for more, i now felt completely drained and could have gladly got off and laid down by the roadside. Thankfully i knew that once over this it was pretty much downhill all the way and I could coast most of it. A few minutes later I pulled up to the finish, totally spent and barely able to speak (someone remind me why we do this again?!?). Hal had taken 4mins out of me in the last few kms, I was pretty gutted that i'd fallen apart like that, but relieved it was so close to the finish.All in all it was a great ride, i'd been lucky with the weather again and taken 30mins off of my previous time. Think i'll quit while i'm ahead, but if anyone's looking for a seriously challenging ride then you wont get tougher than this.
