Tour de France humour

[Rob Q]

Imaginary conversation courtesy of Roadbikerider.com…..

Tour de Shrink

With the Tour de France set to start on Saturday, everybody's asking who will lead the Astana superteam: 7-time Tour winner Lance Armstrong or young gun Alberto Contador, winner of the last 3 Grand Tours he's ridden.

Speculation intensified when reports surfaced that Contador -- who has been wondering publicly just who is Astana's top banana -- may have tried unsuccessfully to switch teams a few days ago.

The official team line is that there's no problem. The strongest rider will emerge during the race and the squad will rally to his side.

Behind the scenes, however, things may not be so rosy, as RBR learned when our intrepid reporter uncovered this transcript of a recent Astana-mandated counseling session involving Lance, Alberto and licensed family therapist Dr. Anna Robic:

Dr. Robic: Welcome, gentlemen. Please remove your cycling shoes -- my office floor is imported mahogany. So, we're here today because your coach, Mr. Bruyneel, says you two have some unresolved issues.

Lance: That's bull. The only unresolved issue is how we're gonna take the yellow jersey.

Dr. Robic: Do you agree, Alberto?

Alberto: Well, yes and no. Of course we want an Astana rider to win. But what I want to know is: If I am the strongest, will Lance and the rest of the team support me?

Dr. Robic: It sounds like you're saying you have trust issues.

Alberto: Si, mucho trust issues.

Lance: You can trust me, Alberto. I've told you this like eight times.

Alberto: How come you keep saying "eight times"?

Lance: Why, you little . . . Care to step outside -- or are you yellow?

Alberto: How come you keep saying "yellow"?

Dr. Robic: Gentlemen, please . . . put down those pumps. Security!

[Dan_K]

[quote="marco"]I was half expecting him to switch to Caisse when Valverde got in hot water.