Cautionary tale for parents - mobile phones for children

[kieran]

Well, here is a story to help or confuse you if you're deciding to get a mobile phone for your children. One hint is that this monring I have ordered a basic Nokia for my 11 year old.

I have seen the headlines concerning the report from Sweden reporting a 5 times increase in risk of certain cancers etc due to mobile phone use in young children and France are going to ban them for children under 12. So why am I buying one for my 11 year old?

Well, after a nice race at Crystal Palace last night, where my two children ,Oisin, 11, and Aoife 8, attended we had to head home. My wife was off at a show, so the plan was that I would go with them to the bus stop for the 122 (opposite the main bus terminal at CP) and they would get on the bus and then I would meet them at the 122 bus stop in Forest Hill. A journey of about 10-15min max.

Anyway we walked up to the stop and I put the children on, making sure they sat up front as near to the driver as possible. Oisin had also checked the route stops and we had gone over the plan of where I would meet them.

The bus took off and I followed them on the bike. We passed the first bus stop and I waved to them as I passed the bus. The bus then stopped at the next stop at the top of Westwood hill but I had gone ahead to the stop mid way down westwood hill (near Sydenham Wells park). As the bus didn't stop there I only had a quick look in and couldn't see them in their seats. I thought maybe they had gone up stairs (where they like to go) so I raced after the bus and met it at the stop near Jews walk. I still couldn't see them, and then the driver told me that they had got off at the bus stop at the top of Westwood hill!!! (It was 9 pm now and getting fairly dark). So I raced back up the hill to the stop, but they were no where to be seen. I dashed up Sydenham hill road for a bit but after going further than the distance I thought they would have covered given the time gap and their walking speed I couldn't see them I turned back and started to search the area around Westwood Hill. I ended up stopping anyone I saw and asking them if they'd seen them. No one had.

I ended up going back to check our house but the lights were off and no sign of them there (nor in Forest Hill) so I headed back out to look for them, eventually I dialled 999 to report 2 missing children. The response of the police was great. Later I went back to the house with the police and only on entering the house did I find a note from the mother of one of Oisin's friends that they were safety at their house! Crisis and panic over as relief flooded in. The police picked them up and gave them a ride home in the police car. They were fairly tired but otherwse ok.

It turns out that as the 122 headed towards Westwood Hill Oisin thought the bus was going the wrong way so decided that they had better get off. They then proceeded to immediately run down Sydenham Hill Road towards Forest Hill, where they checked the ageed meeting point at the bus stop (by then I was still looking for them around Westwood Hill). When they didn't find me there they started to head home but Aoife was very tired after their run so they called in Oisin's friend's house (which is on the route). They only had Johanna's mobile and as Johanna was at a show she had her phone on silent/ switched off so neither they nor I could get through to her to pass on the message that they were ok.

Anyway after a scarey hour followed by much hugs and a hot chocolate the children went to bed.

So today I have bought a Nokia 1661 for Oisin (as he will also be commuting to secondary school).

Other lessons - put all of your contact details on any school list given out to the parents of your childrens classmates.
Share your contact details with your childrens' friends parents and your neighbours.
Make sure your children know all of your numbers.
Don't swich off your phone at events - put it on Meeting mode or vibrate only. Make sure it is charged up and if PAYG, there is money in the account.

[adrian]

Bloody hell, Kieran - you must have been frantic. Glad it all worked out OK and ended in hot chocolate.

[ThePinkDreamMachine]

Oh my goodness this is the most exciting post race report i have ever read..

how frighten of you. I can see your sons logic with the buses it can be very confusing and what a good idea to have called in on his friends house. I will be dealing with year 7 children from September and I will use your check list.

You must have be very pleased to have them home safe.

I think that at 11 and off to high school doing a commute is a good time to have a phone as the rest of us have come to rely on them, we are then stranded when we are without.

I had a mobile at 12 too after a incident very like this my dad brought me one too. my dad (a headmaster) forgot to pick me up from a netball game after school and I had to walk the 5miles home and thought nothing of taking a shortcut through a woods at 7pm at night. I still haven’t change, anyway it never cost him much money because in 1996 none of my friends had a mobile for me to call them on. I fear yours will be different.

[ThePinkDreamMachine]

by the way you can get junior contracts.. Where they have a limited of minuets and text and when they run out the 02 call you and you can extend it so your bill is never a shock. Also you can set it that your number is always free to call so that even when they have no credit it will work to call mum or dad. lots of ‘grown ups’ just these contracts to

[kieran]

Well, yes, happily it did work out ok and nothing happened to them on their way home. Sydenham Hill road is a long, quiet,road and has little foot traffic, my wife who works for the police, also has many fears about child safety etc given what she has seen working in the video lab etc.

The children were looking forward to telling their friends all about their adventure last night.

I wonder were we too lax with their safety but we have usually tried not to cushion them too much or be over protective and let their feelings of independence and responsibility for oneself build up naturally as they grow older.

Oh, thanks for the tips about the phone contracts, I will look into it.

[ThePinkDreamMachine]

I think children in London and the south east miss out in many respects, because everything is so big, busy and scary you have to be more over protective, there is so much more to go wrong. from 10 onwards we'd head off to the beach on our own for the whole day and some time go on the train to better beaches, but our trains run on a single line and you know full well you’d bump into some one grandma or a lady you who worked with your mum where ever you went. My brother rode his bike to school from 11 but that was across fields and roads with much much less traffic. I hope your not sending yours to school on his bike just yet?

Oisin 11 soon 12? and he’s got to start going it alone. Task one was getting home from palace only made more scary because it was getting dark and late, have you practiced the school run on his own yet? what school is he off to?

[kieran]

Sadly we don't let him cycle alone, he is allowed on the roads but only with one of us.

Luckily there is a boy on our street who goes to the same school and he is a year ahead of Oisin, they also meet 2 other boys on the train, I think they have all agree to board they last carriage. He has done the school run already over the holidays for a sports camp the school held, so when he starts school he will know the route.

[Rob Q]

As a parent myself, I can understand the panic you must have felt. Its so sad that we have to be so protective over our kids in this day and age due to the many undesirables out there. I too am not in favour of mobile phones for kids (I know of friends of my daughter who already have phones and they are only 8 )

Anyway I’m glad they are both safe and well.

[Andrew G]

You must have been worried sick Kieran, so glad it all worked out. Couple of nice lads, thank them for their shouts last night, and sensible too making sure they got somewhere safe they knew.

[Sylv]

Phew!

[Toks]

I've only ever lost my son (age 5/6 at the time) for a couple of minutes in a busy high street so I can't imagine how you were feeling. I'm so glad it all worked out well in the end.